The Unofficial Portuguese Map

We got a chuckle from this from our good friends at r/Portugal on Reddit. It’s 100% correct.

The Unofficial Portuguese Map

A few notes that jumped out at us:

• Most of the Alentejo is a Desert which sadly is true.
• Leira area is very prideful that they kicked the Spanish king ass and sent him back to Madrid
• Hot Foreigners in Algarve … umm no more like half-naked Brits who drink a lot
• Porto is home of the northern master race of… Wine Makers
• Aveiro is Venice. Don’t come, tourists, you’ll ruin it like you did Venice
• We have Jews here (thank gosh. the New Yorker in me misses them) but only in pockets …” something… something” Inquisition.
• Cristiano Ronaldo owns Maderia and the hearts of Portugal. Say his name in vain and prepare to be punched.
• Want free land go to the north. Free whole towns but no running anything (water, electric, internet, people)
• And yes in the north people listen to Spanish radio and TV. Honestly northern Galican Portuguese sounds like Galician Spanish. Half the food is the same and I would have an issue picking them out of a crowd.
• To Portuguese, Galicia = Good Brother, Rest of Spain = Evil Brother, England = Rich (occasional houseguest) Uncle, France = Wealthy/Snobbish Uncle, USA = Cool Cousin, Germany = Germaphobe third-cousin, Chinese = Rich visitor never says hi, Japan = Nice visitor always says hi but very quiet