As a pizza snob (I’m a New Yorker and Totonno’s in Coney Island is the standard by which all other pizza should be measured) never in my life have I seen a more atrocious crime against pizza than what Telepizza is attempting in Portugal. They are now selling a “Lasagna Pizza”. It’s topped with salted codfish (Bacalhau), lasagna sheets, carbonara AND bechamel sauce, onions, olives and grated cheese.
Why Pizza in Portugal Sucks
These pizzas are originally frozen, then reheated in a power oven and delivered to your door. I know Portuguese people love their Bacalhau. It’s ingrained in the culture as the go-to fish for any meal. Portuguese people say they have 360 ways to make codfish. I ask, no…I beg…I implore, please don’t make this 361. Telepizza is known for these atrocities. They come up with zany ingredients for pizza and convince unknowing Portuguese people that this is a pizza.Not a Pizza. Salad with a bread bowl. Stupid They came out with a Pizzalada a few months back that was the bastard child of a bread bowl and a salad. I am fan of adding greens to my pizza, but this is just taking it too far. It’s a friggin´ bread bowl. Telepizza also tried to pass this Kit Kat Pizza as a sweet delight perfect for any occasion. Here is there Vulcano (nacho pizza): So take a frozen pizza, add nacho chips and dipping cheese and now you got a unique product. If you are lactose intolerant they have created the cheese pizza for you. Enjoy hours of stomach aches people. Thanks, Telepizza, Plumbers everywhere appreciate the business you’ve referred to them.
…a gazelle shed a tear in Naples with your comment. Maybe Rome would work better with that. But too doughy for me and I spend almost 2-years in Italy.
Kim
I’ve got lots of love for traditional thinner crust Italian pizzas too so I’ll take any recommendation for a good authentic pizza place… Actually, can we hope for an article on the best World food restaurants in Lisbon? I know there is always Tripadvisor, but…
Blanca Valbuena
So far, I’ve really enjoyed Pasta non Basta (in Avenidas Novas). It’s the closest I’ve found so far to a thinner crust pizza. I’m a big fan of Jesus is Goan, Stanislav, and Eleven. We definitely need to put together a huge post full of yummy places. Oh – and check out Il Mercato in Rato – delicious Italian food.
Enrique
I agree. if a Spanish chain makes it, and the Portuguese eat them, you cannot blame the Spanish chain, the same way if McDonalds makes crappy burgers, you cannot blame them if they are popular. I am from Spain, and avoid Telepizza like the plague. First, their quality is not good (not only those freaky ones, any pizza they have is very avergale to bad), then they are expensive. Million alternatives (at least in Spain) to have a nice pizza for the same price of their crapizzas (maybe I should copyright that term :))
I like your wording. Crapizza or Crapizzi. And I agree your insides won’t enjoy this crap. The thing I have noticed in Portugal and from my travels is that people aren’t purchasing the food because it’s pizza or coffee or tea. They are purchasing it because it’s secret ice cream (everything in starbucks), it’s a shitty cake (everything in Telepizza) it’s something else disguised as something normal. The Tuga and Espanoles buy this crap because it’s a way for young people get fat while making believe they are trendy. “Oh look I am eating an Italian Pizza….” Not young one your just eating a dessert in pizza form.
Pauline Pang
I’m a pizza snob too, but you should definitely try CasaNova! Also… love the food in portugal but can’t seem to find decent french fries either!
Blanca Valbuena
Thanks for the recommendation, Pauline. I will absolutely try it. You gotta make your own at home. The secret is frozen fries in duck fat 🙂
Who tf eats pizza in Portugal anyway. We have some of the best cuisine in the world, the last thing I would be picking up would be a pizza.
Blanca Valbuena
Hey David,
There is something about pizza that’s so damn good, I think since Antonio and I moved from NYC, pizza is woven into our DNA. The one thing I truly miss is pizza from Totonno’s in Coney Island, the best in the world. That being said, give me a good Arroz de Pato…and I’ll be happy.
Portuguese people do not know real,good and authentic pizza like the true Italian pizzas they make in New York or in Naples or Palermo in Italy.That is the problem,….they simply think frozen or mediocre and mushy pizza is good.They simply do not know any better,….it’s just not their thing !
Blanca Valbuena
I have found a few places that serve acceptable pizza…still nothing like Italy or NYC…but I would recommend Basta non Pasta in Avenidas Novas. Don’t order the meatballs, they are tasty, but tiny and overpriced. Their pizza and calzones are pretty good though.
Here is there Vulcano (nacho pizza): 
So take a frozen pizza, add nacho chips and dipping cheese and now you got a unique product. If you are lactose intolerant they have created the cheese pizza for you. 
Enjoy hours of stomach aches people. Thanks, Telepizza, Plumbers everywhere appreciate the business you’ve referred to them.
Pizzalada looks so good! I would like to try the nachos pizza too. A bit weird but sounds good.
I see you’re not a pizza purist…I’m very traditional with my pizza. It should be dough, cheese, sauce…and maybe one meat.
I guess I’m a purist too. A pizza shouldn’t be overloaded with a ton of stuff – it’s about the sauce, dough and quality of cheese!
There is a special place in hell for fans of Pizzalada and it’s likes. You’ve been warned.
Pizza Zero is the exception it’s great. http://www.pizzeriazerozero.pt
That sounds a little weird to know. Pizza should always be on point. Thanks for sharing. That is very informative.
Weird is right, and to a purist like me…unacceptable
I’m excited. This looks like it has a great crust. Will try it this week and let you know. Thanks for the recommendation.
I guess these atrocities should technically be blamed on the Spaniards as Telepizza is a Spanish chain!
Doesn’t matter if Spaniards or not. People here in Portugal are eating it. They are perpetuating the horror. Don’t eat bad pizza folks. Please.
That’s fair enough… I just hope I’ll be able to find a good Italian sourdough pizza joint once in Lisbon… if you know any, please share!
…a gazelle shed a tear in Naples with your comment. Maybe Rome would work better with that. But too doughy for me and I spend almost 2-years in Italy.
I’ve got lots of love for traditional thinner crust Italian pizzas too so I’ll take any recommendation for a good authentic pizza place… Actually, can we hope for an article on the best World food restaurants in Lisbon? I know there is always Tripadvisor, but…
So far, I’ve really enjoyed Pasta non Basta (in Avenidas Novas). It’s the closest I’ve found so far to a thinner crust pizza. I’m a big fan of Jesus is Goan, Stanislav, and Eleven. We definitely need to put together a huge post full of yummy places. Oh – and check out Il Mercato in Rato – delicious Italian food.
I agree. if a Spanish chain makes it, and the Portuguese eat them, you cannot blame the Spanish chain, the same way if McDonalds makes crappy burgers, you cannot blame them if they are popular. I am from Spain, and avoid Telepizza like the plague. First, their quality is not good (not only those freaky ones, any pizza they have is very avergale to bad), then they are expensive. Million alternatives (at least in Spain) to have a nice pizza for the same price of their crapizzas (maybe I should copyright that term :))
I like your wording. Crapizza or Crapizzi. And I agree your insides won’t enjoy this crap. The thing I have noticed in Portugal and from my travels is that people aren’t purchasing the food because it’s pizza or coffee or tea. They are purchasing it because it’s secret ice cream (everything in starbucks), it’s a shitty cake (everything in Telepizza) it’s something else disguised as something normal. The Tuga and Espanoles buy this crap because it’s a way for young people get fat while making believe they are trendy. “Oh look I am eating an Italian Pizza….” Not young one your just eating a dessert in pizza form.
I’m a pizza snob too, but you should definitely try CasaNova!
Also… love the food in portugal but can’t seem to find decent french fries either!
Thanks for the recommendation, Pauline. I will absolutely try it. You gotta make your own at home. The secret is frozen fries in duck fat 🙂
Who tf eats pizza in Portugal anyway. We have some of the best cuisine in the world, the last thing I would be picking up would be a pizza.
Hey David,
There is something about pizza that’s so damn good, I think since Antonio and I moved from NYC, pizza is woven into our DNA. The one thing I truly miss is pizza from Totonno’s in Coney Island, the best in the world. That being said, give me a good Arroz de Pato…and I’ll be happy.
Blanca
Portuguese people do not know real,good and authentic pizza like the true Italian pizzas they make in New York or in Naples or Palermo in Italy.That is the problem,….they simply think frozen or mediocre and mushy pizza is good.They simply do not know any better,….it’s just not their thing !
I have found a few places that serve acceptable pizza…still nothing like Italy or NYC…but I would recommend Basta non Pasta in Avenidas Novas. Don’t order the meatballs, they are tasty, but tiny and overpriced. Their pizza and calzones are pretty good though.