I was perusing the internets and came across this map of the top “How do I” questions in Europe from back in 2016. These are the English language most searched for terms using the Google terms “How do I…”. 显然地, Europe is a mixed bag of all sorts of crazy searches.
Here is a breakdown of the top good, bad and weird “How do I?” questions from Europe:
United Kingdom: How do I compare thee to a summer’s day?
显然地, Shakespeare is still alive and well in the United Kingdom
法国: How do I stop drinking?
Alcohol (mainly in forms of wine) is consumed at 12.6 Liters per year. So I think a few people are trying to kick the habit.
Iceland: How do I rock?
Guitars, drums and an amplifier my Icelandic brothers & sisters.
希腊: How do I get a loan?
Nice try Greece. Don’t spend more then you have.
罗马尼亚: How do I avoid Roma?
Don’t give them money.
Moldova: How do I steal the diamonds?
Here are a few weird ones
西班牙: How do I learn what human meat taste like?
Me: WTF… not going to Spain anytime soon.
葡萄牙: How do I kill without being caught?
Me: WTF… not leaving my house in Lisbon anytime soon.
保加利亚: How do I stop scratching my butt?
I think you need to see a medical professional for that. 也, used 4 ply toilet paper. Just saying.
Italy: How do I make a sandwich?
How to make a Muffuletta
- To Make the Olive part: In a medium bowl, combine some green olives, a few kalamata olives, 大蒜, 驴蹄草, celery, 萝卜, some onions, peperoncinis, 牛至, basil and cauliflour. Add some Olive Oil and a touch of canola oil. I like to let them marinate together for a few hours before using.
- To construct the Sandwiches: Find a nice Italian loaf or a roll. Slice the loaves of bread in half then remove the extra bread inside. This is to make room for your sandwich toppings. Spread inside each part an even amount of olive mix. Then on the lower half put in some salami, mortadella, prosciutto crudo, mozzarella, and Provolone. Place on the top half and squish down.
- EAT IT!
瑞典: How do I make one friend?
Swedes are a very conservative bunch. 是的, the women are gorgeous but to actually befriend them is tough. I was at a bar once in Sweden and noticed half the women on one side of the room, men on the other. I went to the females tosay “Hi”. I got cold shoulders for a while until I really put on the US charm. I was told by a few gals, guys just don’t do that in Sweden. Hence, why they like dating guys from southern Europe. Get friendly people. It could get you a date.
Turkey : How do I activate my genitals?
Turkey, asking the tough questions.
…Czech Republic and Croatia have honorable mentions. lol.