As a pizza snob (I’m a New Yorker and Totonno’s in Coney Island is the standard by which all other pizza should be measured) never in my life have I seen a more atrocious crime against pizza than what Telepizza is attempting in Portugal. They are now selling a “Lasagna Pizza”. It’s topped with salted codfish (Bacalhau), lasagna sheets, carbonara AND bechamel sauce, cebolas, olives and grated cheese.
Why Pizza in Portugal Sucks
These pizzas are originally frozen, then reheated in a power oven and delivered to your door.
I know Portuguese people love their Bacalhau. It’s ingrained in the culture as the go-to fish for any meal. Portuguese people say they have 360 ways to make codfish. I ask, no…I beg…I implore, please don’t make this 361.
Telepizza is known for these atrocities. They come up with zany ingredients for pizza and convince unknowing Portuguese people that this is a pizza.
They came out with a Pizzalada a few months back that was the bastard child of a bread bowl and a salad. I am fan of adding greens to my pizza, but this is just taking it too far. It’s a friggin´ bread bowl.
Here is there Vulcano (nacho pizza):
So take a frozen pizza, add nacho chips and dipping cheese and now you got a unique product.
If you are lactose intolerant they have created the cheese pizza for you.
Enjoy hours of stomach aches people.
Obrigado, Telepizza, Plumbers everywhere appreciate the business you’ve referred to them.